Top Tip: Keep Control

Do you ever feel like you're out of control?

You know when you were a kid and you were completely and utterly care-free with no expectations of anyone? Someone pissed you off and it wasn't a problem because you could do anything you wanted. You 'ruled the roost' and you dictated what you liked or didn't like? You disobeyed your parents and competed heavily with your peers to be the silliest or the loudest? That's control! Well now I'm 23 and I don't think it was that long ago that I grew up, or even if it has happened at all. I'm very immature. Sit me on any horse or chuck me out a plane because I'm ballsy too, but in control I'm not... at least for today. Politics, war, sex and other grown-up things? They're out of my control. Growing up but losing control, what a weird and ironic combo.

When the control starts falling apart and floating away aimlessly into the distance like a daffodil flower, it's really tough. I dunno about you but I want to be young, care-free and in control forever. There you have it: The Ongoing Dilemma of Balancing Taking Life Really Seriously and then Not Too Seriously whilst all the time being in control... That's like trying to carry 427 stacked plates across an ice rink, on roller-skates, naked, with an audience whilst reciting the Chinese alphabet. Not easy (and I'm a Libra so I should be the Queen of balancing). That's life though. That's adulthood. FUCK ADULTHOOD - it sucks.

At some point, which I think was only a few months ago, I made this imperative transition from 'child' to adult but didn't know it had happened. It was then that I felt I lost control. Now I have decided to do something about it and Olivia Towers (OTD) has really helped me. Her amazing talent alongside her inspirational life coaching has inspired me to re-think and re-evaluate how I approach what I do. Last week I touched on anxiety and stress and how it affects my pre-event and event performance and this post builds on that. It is because of Olivia that I truly believe improving my mental strength and control will improve my performance and it's something I have never really focused on before. I really hope you can relate to the loss of control I am referring to. If you do, or even if you don't, please go and watch Olivia's vlogs for some inspo.

I've set myself a goal to ride at 1* and that's it, that's all I am thinking about. I prepare physically... I train a lot, I'm generally fit, I (try to) watch what I eat. I am working really, really hard though on setting objectives along the way that will settle my mind so that I get there and don't feel entirely overwhelmed and let the atmosphere swallow me up. Last week I considered how I need to surround myself by good company which should be relatively easy as I'm a very sociable person.

I need to factor in this loss of control that I feel though, because it is becoming too often now that I don't think I have a grip on what is happening and that I am being left behind. That'll be much more tough. Please don't think of this blog as 'my goal setting diary', but this week I am setting a new one: To learn to stay in control through strengthening my mind. My initial strategy is to work on a 'one weekend on, one weekend off' basis and spend every other weekend just focusing on my relationships with everyone around me using techniques Olivia touches on and any additional support. It all ties into last week quite nicely actually.

Like you should, I will continue to watch OTD and I will continue to learn from everything she says because it's all very valuable.

Take note, huns.

Much love x